Hey man, sorry about your mom.

The internet is awesome, for this reason alone.  Apparently Lebron’s David Blaine disappearing playoff impersonation had nothing to do with his impending free agency.  The vanishing act was large in part due to his teammate, Delonte West banging his moms.  Now let me be the first to say, there is no way this is true.  As much as I want it to be.  Nobody is that stupid.  Nobody.  You’d be better served putting your balls in an electrical socket.   This is the kind of ridiculous shit you hear about with NBA players, and they don’t get discounted because NBA players are grossly overpaid assholes capable of this type of ridiculous shit.  I don’t believe it, but…  Didn’t Ron Artest leave an NBA team to start a record label in the middle of the season?  Of course you can do that, Ron.  Wasn’t Darryl Dawkins from the planet Lovetron?  Didn’t Marbury buy a court side seat to flip cam the team that he was banned from?  Stephon, here’s twenty million, stay away.   Rodman?  Isaiah Rider?    Also, Calvin Murphy said so.  Calvin Murphy one of the all time good guys, fathered fourteen children with nine women and “allegedly” sexual abused five of them.  He said so, so this thing has legs.  Also Ben Rothelisberger, Tiger Woods, and Jesse James all say it’s true, too.  Listen, Delonte doesn’t look like the sharpest tool in the shed.  He was arrested on his three-wheeled motorcycle, with a nine, a .357 and a Remington 87o in a guitar case.  That’s right, one of those goofy Can-am’s.  He also has a neck tattoo, so enough said.  Any time you tattoo your head, face or neck your basically sending society a telegram that says, I don’t play by your rules cause I’m bat-shit, and all the information you need about me, is this scorpion tattooed on my neck.  The only exception to that rule is Jamie Foxx.  He has a head tattoo, but that’s just because he’s a jackass.    Know this, thousands of kids, every year will bury themselves financially for the rest of their live so they can get an M.F.A. in Theatre from Yale or NYU, just so actors from former UPN shows can win Academy Awards.  This world is fucked.  With that in mind, what I’m sayin is, if anyone has the giblets to bang Lebron’s mom, it’s this wingnut.  Maybe they’re in love.  Maybe this is how people find each other?  What would be wrong with that?  Listen Lebron, I want to be with your Mom.  I love her, and I’m gonna need to see the rock more, or your grounded.   The more you start to think about this story, the more disturbing it becomes.  So let it go.  Let it all rest on the shoulders of the disgruntled Cavs fan who probably drunkenly stumbled around his room and or parent’s basement, and started this rumor.  Seriously, he was working the E.R. the night Jerry Pennacoli waddled in with a Gerbil in his ass.  So you know it’s true.  Lebron has crushed him, and when Lebron leaves Cleveland to go to New York or Chicago, to get paid to give fans hope and to not win Championships, then this thing will all blow over.  It all be “he said, she said”.  But for now, it’s the greatest “your mom” joke ever.   She doesn’t wear a pork chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her, no she’s banging Delonte West.  Classic.